Dads

At least once a week I travel over to Liverpool to see my dad John, who is 87 and my stepmum Rose, who  is 83.  Dad has advanced macular degeneration so has very little sight now. Rose has dementia and is on a very small loop, sometimes (often!) asking you the same question five times in about 3 minutes.  It can be very difficult to reply each time without doing it between clenched teeth occasionally!  But.......we are all trying to keep them living independently in their own home.  It is getting harder but together with the great support that Liverpool Social Services offer and along with my sister Karen (who has just spent a week with them) and brother John, we are still hanging on in there!  Rose also has a son and daughter. This situation and the issues it brings, seemed to suddenly appear out of nowhere.  One minute the folks are off out here, there and everywhere, driving over to see you, friends and other family members, and next they need your support for so many things.

However, the up side is that I have all kinds of interesting conversations with my dad and am probably closer to him now than I ever was. I think my sister would say the same. Dad and Rose are as happy as they can possibly be, given the problems they deal with on a daily basis. They are still good company - even if the laughs are sometimes at their expense!  Also the words "If only I had said/told him x, y or z" will never arise, we are at peace with past history, grievances and issues.  

So many old people have no one to really care about them and equally, many sons and daughters struggle alone to do what they can to care for parents, in addition to other responsibilities. My dad often says he is the luckiest man in the world and if love and not money is the measure, then he surely is. 

As often as possible, we go off to pub and take a bit of a drive around and here is a photo from yesterday.  The autumnal scene was taken at Pickering Pastures. They do look cheery don't they, bless.

John Leslie Rees

Today is the 5th anniversary of my husband John's death. He is dad to Nick, David, Joe and Sally. A man who was truly loved and is still greatly missed.

The Wanderer Returns

So, here I am back at the blog.  For over a week I found myself in what can only be described as an ‘alternative universe’, one where  someone  asks  you the same question over and over again (is that a kind of torture?) and another wants to start political conversations (so, why is the BBC biased about XYZ?) at midnight. Ah, I shouldn’t make a joke of it really.  My dad (87) had a cataract operation which made it difficult for him to care for my step-mum (83) who has dementia, so I stayed for a week.  He is already losing his sight so we hoped this op might improve things but the jury is still out. They are lovely but I am exhausted!  I have nothing but praise for full-time carers, what stars they all are.

Talking of age, am I the only person who gets irritated by the adverts or articles which refer to the ‘over 50’s’ and then show images of much older people who clearly haven’t seen 50 for about 25 years or more? I guess it's because to the embryos in the ad agencies, anyone over 45 looks the same.  I am over 55 (don’t ask!) but none of this stuff is the least bit relevant to either me or to my contemporaries.   We do not partake in sequence dancing wearing stout shoes and a polyester dress – puleez! Can you imagine my (1970’s) generation in the care homes all singing along to Donna Summer’s Hot Stuff instead of the bl**dy White Cliffs of Dover and doing the Bump instead of the Quick Step?  Should be a laugh for sure!