Tuesday 5 June 2012

Weapons of Mass Destruction.....but real ones!

I thought I would tell you what I'm doing to defeat this cancer. There is nothing like illness to focus the mind and for me, this is a war.  I have been invaded, I am really pi**ed off and I have to find my own army to defeat the invaders.  I want to be pro-active and have found an alter-ego but not sure what to name her?? Try searching internet for Warrior Women........OMG!!!  




Firstly though, I have to say that the power of science and the progress being made with some cancers is truly amazing.  Perhaps not so much in mine but I give thanks every day for  the skills and expertise of the medical profession.  I don't consider my drugs to be toxic but instead refer to them as a 'golden elixir' which is flowing though me, killing those ba***rd cancer cells but leaving the 'good' cells alone. Shifting the focus makes me feel better.  However, the chemo can mess with your immune system (as can other things in life such as prolonged stress) and it is this which has to be in tip top condition to fight back, so keeping it strong is paramount.  Other 'weapons' include:
  • Not reading the statistics because I am me............ and they can be depressing.  That doesn't mean I am being ostrich-like about this but I know what they are (negative) but don't need them reinforcing, thank you. I am not a statistic.
  • I am keeping away from people who are negative/downbeat/moaning.  I know too that the medics have to tell you the bad stuff but really, by the time one of them was only part way through the list of side effects I would probably have, I had to stop her and ask for any good news!  I said I would take the booklets home to read and get back to her if necessary.  I have had two lots of chemo over six weeks and hardly any side effects at all. This situation may change but every day I don't have any is a bonus for which I am extremely grateful. Okay, so I have lost my hair but honestly, it doesn't cause me any pain or discomfort and will grow back. I have heard some really uplifting stories and that's what they do, lift me!  If something or something is draining/depressing you then clear it out of your life without delay, don't wait until you are ill!
  • I generally do eat well but for now I am being extra diligent. This includes cutting out (as much as possible) dairy, red meat, alcohol, replacing whites with browns (bread, pasta) and bringing in even more  fresh fruit and vegetables that ever, more cereals, nuts and seeds.  Generally speaking, we are what we eat.
  • Exercise.  I was doing lots of walking until November last, but am starting to get back into it again, albeit not the 10/12 miles I was doing a few times a week then.  I am also aware that I don't feel so physically strong so need to work on that.  Maybe weights or pilates?? 
  • Laughing a lot!  This isn't difficult for me with my lot really, but I have even bought some comedy DVD's to tickle the 'funny muscles' even more, when they aren't around!
  • Music.  I have a very eclectic taste in music but at the moment I try to listen to really upbeat stuff every day.  For me this means soul, r&b and dance - as loud as possible!  I feel it deep in the pit of my stomach so surely the cancer cells in my peritoneum will be rocked to pieces and make a quick exit?  Imagine them being chased out by Earth, Wind and Fire or Beyonce - ha! Last Night a DJ Saved My Life might just prove true for me.....  Without a doubt, music is good for the soul, so put some music on and dance around the house!
  • Plans and goals for the future.  Currently these include Joe and Jo's wedding in September, Christmas (which I love!) and then I want to go on holiday somewhere warm and splendid in January or February, where I will throw myself into a warm ocean - bliss!  Everyone should have something to look forward to, no matter how small.
  • The continuing joy of being cocooned, supported and loved by dear family and friends.  I rarely take people for granted but I have never appreciated them all, more than I do now.  If you haven't done so lately, then tell someone close to you that you love and appreciate them. Big hugs all round!
  • I am also having hypnosis and reflexology.  I do guided imagery and visualisation and find them all helpful in keeping me focussed and positive.  Hypnosis helped me a few years ago when I was having panic attacks about public speaking.  It works for me.
I am still feeling okay which is great.  I had my head shaved (thanks Annie) and it gets cold easily!  I have the next chemo on the 11th but will try and do a couple of blogs before if possible    but you know how I like to be out and about. See, it's still all me, me me!


Finally, whilst I haven't done any photography for a while, I thought I would leave you with this one from a time when children played outside all day and got very mucky - great knees!!