Dads

At least once a week I travel over to Liverpool to see my dad John, who is 87 and my stepmum Rose, who  is 83.  Dad has advanced macular degeneration so has very little sight now. Rose has dementia and is on a very small loop, sometimes (often!) asking you the same question five times in about 3 minutes.  It can be very difficult to reply each time without doing it between clenched teeth occasionally!  But.......we are all trying to keep them living independently in their own home.  It is getting harder but together with the great support that Liverpool Social Services offer and along with my sister Karen (who has just spent a week with them) and brother John, we are still hanging on in there!  Rose also has a son and daughter. This situation and the issues it brings, seemed to suddenly appear out of nowhere.  One minute the folks are off out here, there and everywhere, driving over to see you, friends and other family members, and next they need your support for so many things.

However, the up side is that I have all kinds of interesting conversations with my dad and am probably closer to him now than I ever was. I think my sister would say the same. Dad and Rose are as happy as they can possibly be, given the problems they deal with on a daily basis. They are still good company - even if the laughs are sometimes at their expense!  Also the words "If only I had said/told him x, y or z" will never arise, we are at peace with past history, grievances and issues.  

So many old people have no one to really care about them and equally, many sons and daughters struggle alone to do what they can to care for parents, in addition to other responsibilities. My dad often says he is the luckiest man in the world and if love and not money is the measure, then he surely is. 

As often as possible, we go off to pub and take a bit of a drive around and here is a photo from yesterday.  The autumnal scene was taken at Pickering Pastures. They do look cheery don't they, bless.

John Leslie Rees

Today is the 5th anniversary of my husband John's death. He is dad to Nick, David, Joe and Sally. A man who was truly loved and is still greatly missed.