Career/Life Question

For many of us, returning to work in cold, dark January equals giving some thought to why we do what we do and how happy or unhappy that makes us.  A report by Monster at the end of last year found that almost half of workers regret not following their childhood dreams. Of course during a recession, we might also feel that we are lucky just to have a job (although someone, somewhere will seize the opportunities this brings) and whilst that's true, it doesn't mean you can't consider your future.  It is quite natural to regret what we didn't try to do but hindsight is a wonderful thing, and many decisions were based on information and resources we had at that time. I belong to the generation which, unless you were going to teach, do law or go into medicine, then you left school at 16 and got any job you could, handing over a part of your wage to parents for 'your keep'. If you didn't like the job, you could soon change it (how lucky were we) and then work your way onward and upwards if you chose to.   For most of us, there was certainly less pressure to take decisions about work so early on in life.  Oh happy days!

But times have changed and so maybe you can relate to this 'January' question and hopefully gain something from the suggestions which follow it:

Q. I am so bored and fed up with my job and my life right now.  It's as though I have little to look forward to and don't gain much satisfaction from anything.  I feel like I have worked at this for ages but not gotten very far, a bit like trying to walk through treacle!  How can I possibly re-direct and re-define my life for the better?

So, it sounds like your life is currently on hold, when you feel inside that you are ready for some change but not sure how to go about it and what to exchange it for.  Change comes in stages and the key to success is realising which stage you are at now. 

• The first stage is where you know you are unhappy about something (for example,  simply having to return to work) but not convinced about changing it. Maybe you are just cruising through life and it isn't suiting you to do so.  Maybe you think the feeling will pass. Ask yourself where would you like to be in five/ten years time?  It will be here sooner than you think.
• The second stage is where you spend more time contemplating the next stage (for example, you start looking at the job pages) knowing you want change but aren't quite ready to do it. This may be when you start to monitor your actions and thoughts and be more aware of what your triggers are, think about what's out there and the consequences of changing.   What new skills might you need to gain along the way?
• Stage three is about preparation, when you know you are ready to act.  It is worth noting that the above might take place over a long period of time for some or just a few weeks for others and can be where many people 'stay stuck'.  What's holding you back? 
• Next is the action stage itself when you start using the support and knowledge you have gained in the previous stages, to actually make the change. Are you ready to take the risk?

What stage might you be at now? Can you adapt or amend some areas of your life,rather than make sweeping changes?  For example, you could list what you do and don't like about your job.  What would make it better?  Could you play a part in improving things or are there organisational issues?  What would happen if nothing changed? 
Does anyone else involved or affected know about how you are feeling and thinking? Have you spoken to them?  If you neither ask nor discuss things with the 'relevant' others then you can't expect them to be mind readers!


Irrespective of age, the economy or your current situation, any re-direction begins with a focus, even a vague one at this stage, paying more attention to what your true self wants.  So, go back to the goals made after reading previous blogs and see what the first (even small) step could be to re-energise your life, discovering who you are and what suits you best.  If you allow the gap between where you are in your life and where you really want to be to grow, then you will, without doubt and at the very least, become resentful and stressed. 


And finally..........."Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives."  William James 1842 - 1910

It's A New Year!

 

It's a new year and because I am too much of a wimp to be walking across the Wirral with the camera in the wind, rain and cold (even for you!) I thought that over the next few weeks I might include some personal development (couldn't find a better phrase!) stuff - setting goals, communication, motivation, work/career issues etc.  

Most of you will be back at work today. Some of you might be pleased, others not so pleased (depressed even!) but  this month is probably as good a time as any to give a bit of thought to what you want to be/to do/to have or not to have in your life in the future.  As a 'old bird' there isn't much I haven't experienced, fretted about, decided to change or even ignore (not recommended). I have tried to work through my own insecurities and anxieties (some more successfully than others!) so maybe some of the blogs will be useful to you - I hope so. I am keeping today's blog quite short and then the next couple will include some key questions and practical steps for you.  2011, particularly the second half, was a good one for me and I intend to keep the momentum going.  I am one of those people who rather like change and am a bit of a maverick These days I find these traits are valuable to have.  The maverick bit wasn't a good trait to have in a larger organisation but now it is because it's all down to me! The future goals and choices you made will be specific to you but I think the following are ones that everyone should aspire to:

• Laugh more, including at yourself.  Honestly, laughter is the best medicine.  It diffuses difficult situations and puts many things into perspective. Get together with friends, go to a film, watch comedies at home, you won't be sorry. It may not always be appropriate to do out loud (as in work) but do it internally instead.
• Try not to bear grudges and resentments.  Chances are, the people these are directed at don't waste their energies and time thinking about you.  It takes real effort to carry this stuff around and it is you it will damage most. 
• Where possible and appropriate, work at being yourself and not who others expect you to be. Of course you need to learn about who you are; know what motivates and inspires you; be aware of your values etc and hopefully then, you will.
• Be nicer to people, including 'the invisibles'.  By that I mean the road sweepers, waiters, ticket collectors, Big Issue sellers, in fact all the the people who bustle around us cleaning up, serving, sorting etc.  I always say that you can tell so much about a person by the way they treat a waiter.  Try it and see.
• Finally, if something happens which offends, upsets or appalls you, don't whinge about it, do something.  Write to your MP, investigate, try to change it in some small way because it all makes a difference and our apathy allows bad stuff to happen and carry on happening. Equally, if something pleases you then offer praise.  

I do hope you will come back to read the next blog which will be ready and up by Friday. See you then!